Today

Well today I do not feel good at all. Apparently breathing is over rated. I know its a matter of time before I'm back in the hospital and that also means setting me back on my fertility stuff ( story of my life). Why is it so easy for everyone else to have other babies but for me its impossible? I am truly truly thinking that god hates me for some reason and will not let me bare children anymore. I wish i could figure out what it is so i could go to confession and pray for that forgiveness. I think I'm going to go off the fertility meds and give my body a rest. I don't know what else to do but stop for a while and let this emo rollercoster ride subside for a while. Any more i hate being me.